I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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