Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
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