I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
