3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
