$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
How's work?
Spinning.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
