The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize