My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
