She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Randomize
