apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
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