Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
