the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize