i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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