Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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