having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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