Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
