He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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