New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
