seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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