I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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