where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
