I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you bring me the toilet please
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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