i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
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