Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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