hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Randomize
