There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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