Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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