she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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