so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
