Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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