This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
