How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize