i just google imaged poop.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Randomize
