she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
