Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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