So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
