Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Randomize
