the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
