I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
