but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
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After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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