pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
