she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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