I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I think your dad took our porno
I have feelings that need drinking.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
