she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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