She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
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