I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Randomize
