she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
