woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
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