the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
