maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
