some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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