I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
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