yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
