Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
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