Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Randomize