Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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