How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
