$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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