He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
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