I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
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