It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
