Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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