I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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