I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize