brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
