My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
